![]() ![]() I’m the big haired tech geek! My superpower is British accents!Īlright team, we’re being chased by police cars filled with innocent cops! We need to lose them! I’m the short haired tech geek! My superpower is sass! I’m the muscle! My superpower is taking massive amounts of HGH! Also banging soccer moms! ![]() I’m the tough chick! My superpower is scowling! VIN and his GANG OF INTERNATIONAL CRIMINAL MURDERERS use CARS to steal a BEER KEG with EMP magic inside. turning on my family? I think my brain’s Check Engine light just came on. Now you will go steal an EMP device for me or I will kill your ex-girlfriend Elsa Pataky who I have kidnapped. Anyway, Luke Evans was building that super weapon for me in Fast 6 and I hired Djimon Hounsou to get the God’s Eye for me in Furious 7! Everything bad that has happened in this franchise is my doing! It is I, your greatest enemy, the author of all your pa- shit the Logan script did that joke already. ![]() VIN goes frolicking around Havana when his DIESEL SENSE leads him to CHARLIZE THERON. It could be the start of a whole new franchise!Įrr, I think Edgar Wright already beat us to it. Just think of it, our child would be the first ever baby driver. Vin, watching you risk your life to win that race and humble that repo man has made my panties wetter than the first three rows at a Shamu show. If you had you’d know my main superpower is turning enemies into trusted allies. Now I suppose you’ll take my car and beat my ass with it.ĭude, seriously, watch the other movies in Machete Order. VIN WINS by driving backwards, with his car ON FIRE, and with his feet sticking through the bottom FLINTSTONES style. You can’t possibly out-Fast me!Ĭlearly you haven’t seen any of the previous movies. Race! And if you win you keep my car! Also you have to use your cousin’s slowass shitbox car and I will blatantly cheat by trying to murder you. Ha ha! I’ve taken your cousin’s car! The only way to get it back is to And ASS SHAKING.įinally, a chance to take it easy and relax without having to prove how good at driving I am. VIN DIESEL and MICHELLE RODRIQUEZ celebrate their honeymoon in HAVANA surrounded by lots of CARS. ![]()
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